i get by with a little help from my friends...

i want to make a music video with my friends... but i never will... i'm just not that cool...

i write about friendship a lot... i am not exactly sure why that is... i have guesses, but i don't really know why i do so much...
so, here's another essay on friendship, with a twist... i'm sure it will not shed any new light on the concept of friendship, but writing costs way less than therapy, so here i am, upon a beautiful leather couch (in my head)...

2 concepts… I have written about them numerous times…

1) "it happens sometimes… friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant… "
I got to spend some time this week with a friend I haven't seen in years… at one point, we were inseparable… someone told us during our friendship that even though it seems like the friends you have in high school will remain your best friends throughout life, it just doesn't happen… of course, we wouldn't listen to him… even though he was right… however, last night, sitting at that table, having our dessert and drinks, it was apparent to me that, no, we might not be best friends anymore but she still is a part of my life… I suspect we will always be friends, if for no other reason than the fact that her friendship is part of my history… I'm really proud of who she is… and we agreed that even though we don't talk as much as we should that time together was fun and not a chore… that even though we've been through completely different experiences, we are, in fact, still the same people… just a bit more jaded and cynical…

2) "friends of choice vs. friends of convenience…"
I think about this a lot… last night I thought about it at church with relation to paul and aquila and priscilla (acts 18)… sometimes I have friends in my life who are friends because it's convenient… it sounds awful, I know… but in the numerous times I've moved, it's inevitable that I've had friendships that were only for a season… it was convenient to be friends with jenny because we were roommates and now that we're not, I have no idea where she lives or what she is doing… most of the time these friendships of convenience are kind of understood… like it kind of makes sense that once someone moves away that things won't be the same, for the most part…

friends of choice are much deeper friendships… regardless of moves and changes, an effort is made on each part to remain friends… to keep up with what is going on… to truly practice the art of kindness and patience and listening and giving and laughter (my favorite parts of friendship) and all the other stuff…

what I've never experienced until this move are friends who I thought were friends of choice who have dismissed me as friends of convenience… and it may be that I've just become too cynical or frustrated… but I give up… One of my favorite John Cusack set of quotes is, "I draw the line at 7 unreturned phone calls..." "This is my 8th and final call…" well, I have drawn the line… and then even called once more… but I'm really done… it's a sad day when you realize you were the friend of convenience… and it wasn't a silent understanding or even an understanding at all...

on a somewhat similar note... i hung out with 2 friends from church the other night (actually, i hang out with friends from church a lot and i always have a good time), and it was amazing and so fun... we laughed a lot and it was truly effortless... i know i'm not alone... i know friendships fade sometimes, but i'm thankful that there are new friends when the old ones decided i'm not worth their time...

maybe we should make a music video... somebody bring the camera... i'll bring the soundtrack...